There's a new, nicotine-free
cigarette on the market called MK-Ultra. While
this may seem like good news for smokers, it is
not. Our sources report a mind altering substance
contained in the herbal mix which is intended to
soften your brain and make it more receptive to
takeover from an alien power.
While some may scoff
at the idea, let me remind everyone that MK-Ultra
is the code name used by the United States Army
in the 1950's--70's for a program in which unwitting
soldiers were given LSD "experimentally" to
see if it made them more suggestible. Those who
doubt this may visit the following websites:
(DATA
REMOVED AT REQUEST OF US GOVERNMENT)
We do not condone smoking
cigarettes, but if you must smoke stay away from
MK-Ultras. Better to get emphysema and lung cancer
than to allow aliens to capture your mind. If you
are already smoking MK-Ultras, throw them out and
pay attention to the warning signs of alien invasion
which manifest in your body:
1. crust in corner
of eyes upon awakening
2. unreasonable anger when robbed of money or assaulted
by a stranger
3. a desire for personal happiness and security
4. thinking you have a shot with Anna Nicole Smith,
if only you could meet her.
5. you think Craig Kilborn is funny
--H.H.
FILES 
